You're so nebulous sometimes
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
