Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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