I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
