Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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