he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
