I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
