I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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