brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
