just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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