We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
