they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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