i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize