why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
