I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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