I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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