Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
