Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize