help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
