Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
