you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
