I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He kissed a someone with a penis
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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