In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
