You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
