i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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