i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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