$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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