So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
