their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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