Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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