Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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