I'm going to jail i love you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
