watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
