dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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