so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
