Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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