I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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