just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
