toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
