Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
