Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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