discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
