Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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