I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
