Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
