Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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