and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
