I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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