17 year olds will be the death of me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
