we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
