im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
