I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He passed out mid-signature
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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