yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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