i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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