if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
