i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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