great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
