Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
