If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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