We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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