last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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