The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
